In a disgusting turn of events, I learned that he was my Grandfather and my Father. He liked to call me Double Stuff, which he found hillarious.

After thinking this way for a few moments, I actually began to enjoy my moping. It was, in fact, some of the best moping I had ever witnessed.

Well, that was a lousy, miserable failure of a membership drive! I would have thunk that there were more people with blood in their stool(s). What is bad for religious membership is good for gastro-intestinal health, and versa-vice. But that doesn't alleviate my worries. You people are not good at this. What part of "proselytizing" don't you understand?

I mean, I could write: "I'm just being sparky,"but then that would, uh, take out the sparkiness.

if that won't satisfy you, the pristine beaches of Shoal Bay West will be what you are looking for.

ravelings are sexy

When will people realize that The Second Amendment (The right to keep and bear arms) isn't about having a machine gun for duck hunting, it's about having a machine gun to defend yourself against the government, which is unfortunately necessary from time to time.

Then the guy handed me the headphones and made me listen to the "best version of Sesame Street ever."

I might have taken it too far when I acted as if I were sprinkling holy water on Chewie with the fry while repeating, "The power of fries compels you."

Why does heathered mean this? I don't know. I was only able (so far) to find etymological information for the Scottish shrubbery. If anyone can shed light on this, it'd be most welcome.

i kind of want to run them under water before i put them in my mouth. they're just not as good when they're dry.

Another plus for masturbation - it reminds me when to clip my nails

"Wheedle" always makes me chuckle when I read it.

like one of them weed things you see in the movies of Romans wearing with their togas only mine is hair and it grows.

Snack: one pickle. melon (not together)

I met a number of people from the Communists, Liberal and European parties; plus I had some more reception food, which is literally saving me tens of pennies I would be spending on eating out otherwise.

I held her in my arms and danced, and she meowed piteously - not because I was holding her and shaking her around, but because I have no rhythm

Apparently her undergarments are made of more durable stuff than her dress, as frequent glimpses of her enormous bright yellow underpants attest.

He has suggested the only way I could be happy is if he stretched me across a shallow hole in the road and drove a car back and forth across my shoulders. Even then, he suspects I’d still complain, “I can barely feel that.”

screw you design education. obviously you are not needed with quality shyte like this.

I distinctly remember that it was salmon transported an alarming distance solely for my enjoyment.)

Mall clowns named "Spunky" are really mean-spirited, hateful farts who put on make-up for tips.

I discovered that dental injury is the number one reason for malpractice claims against Anesthesiologists

Hopefully these will be dropping within the next few months Theres a dope stussy x undftd tee too which I wanna cop, and a huge 5 way collabo that produced a really hot black and gold CLOT

just don't smear it all over my bun. To those of who just say "why don't you just wipe it off", you digust me!!!

I'm currently screaming "Grosse Pointe Blank" at the television. Unfortunately, Larry doesn't hear me and is eliminated.

Sure, the flapper thing would be good, but once that fringe knots up, it's hell combing it out.

hugs are great! hugs always make you feel better... unless you have 3rd degree burns.

it takes the cake
And, at the end of the day, I believe that the cake is ok with this.

I know I'm always saying stuff like "I just puked in my mouth" and, "I just vomited a little", but this is one of the first times I've actually felt faint upon seeing what I just saw.

Was wanting to post a picture of the chicken soup we cooked today, but it was a little inconvenient.

if Star Wars ANH took place in the buttocks: "These aren't the 'roids you're looking for..."

I really like Tootsie Rolls. That is all.

I Stalk Knitters

man, it must be cold up there

So it starts off with Natey telling me I smell like Windex

The well-spoken historian concluded her address by comparing the Dutch experience to contemporary realities in the Canadian context.

Ten of them have claimed my front yard as their territory, and they won't let me get anywhere near the mailbox.

Now, if there is one thing I hate more than broccoli, rap & child molesters, it's dance clubs

so shoot me... I can't sing on an empty stomach okay?

We were asked to arrive a half-hour early, so we could hang out in the lounge area, being a living advertisement for the panel

Context makes such a difference, or maybe it's just the wine

Nobody could lick beer off the floor or inhale smoke better than The Bone Dog. He wandered off and never came back somewhere in Clemson, South Carolina in 1997

What I'm saying is if it's not going to be fucking delicious- then don't eat it

I saw this monstrosity while flicking through a magazine looking for inspiration

If it’s true that your heart stops every time you sneeze, I should be dead right now.

I'll have to practice giving myself the evil eye before I go to bed. No way in heck I'd stay awake if I thought bad things would happen to me if I didn't sleep.

Plot to kill the person who replaced my beloved, but evil retarded llama glue stick. I don't know what this new glue stick is like. I'm thinking a rodeo cowboy

the thoughts do stray to when I was 6 years old and how proud I felt dressed in such regal splendour

If you are a steady reader than you will notice an inconsistency in my recent posts

People often ask me, "Mister Juggles where should I invest?"

we're gonna need a bigger boat... and a lot more tartar sauce

You know that 'rumbly in the tumbly' you get when it's time to go #2? I've call that The Quickening.

"bedeviled" is a great word that just doesn't get used enough

Misheard lyric: "...I've been living on coffee and nougat-tine..."

You are one of the most obnoxious people I've ever met - and I was in a Punk band for eight years.

Whatever the crime might be, I'm clearly the perpetrator.

the hair stood up on the back of my neck in physical revulsion as he licked his lips like some greedy giant descending from a beanstalk that others had helped him climb, and tucked in for a delicious feast of spite and revenge.

I like my car more than I like any of you

I am feeling a little less angry than last night

Can not play a dulcimer in the subway for money

Boobies. Show 'em at every opportunity. Flashbacks especially; nothing says class like a retrospective of Boobies I Have Known.

i told him i could steal shoes for him from work but i'd have to get one at a time

I realized what a sad state I was in when I checked email, had none, checked my spam mail, had none, and was depressed that not even the spammers had written me.

And every single one of them was attached by the back end to another crane fly. They were HAVING SEX. All over the front of my house.And now, ten hours later, they have all disappeared. Except for one which is sitting by my front door looking disappointed.

Honey, I've always said that if your genitals are on the outside, you're hiding something on the inside."

This is a remarkably scandalous game for 8-year-olds to play.

I am convinced that neither ants nor cats (who were the only pests I thought I would have to worry about originally, don't ask me why) will be getting this strawberry wine.

I got home today and my neighbor was in the house, making dinner

we stayed in that waiting shed longer than I had planned to. I handed out the Neruda poem they would talk to, that they would walk through, and discussed parallel strategies of Neruda's Duende* with that of the haiku moment

I'm not sure how I felt about this the first time around and am still unsure about it now

Yesterday, we tried to call them and go there, but they didn't respond

You've gotta like charming if predatory computer programs a little bit.

I love that woman, even when she still has to take me places in the car with a smart talent every time it is raining.

This not-melting thing seems to be a trend with me these days

what if Maude was one of us, just a stranger on the bus...

it smells like Ruffies in here

Death Valley and New Orleans - 2 reasons why 'below sea level' is a bad idea

I felt poorly that day and remained in bed, unable to bake.

although I think I'm gonna be in desperate need of quality wide receivers

I have tried to figure out what stopped each of those times I became preoccupied with the concepts that would certainly have led to certain conclusions earlier in my life.

Luckily, it has a twin sister, who will now be forced to feel that mysterious loss that only a twin understands.

Like when your esthetician is trying to dig out a stubborn ingrown pubic hair but 10 times worse.

thanks to short guys and having to wear them at work

things are not going as smooth as i had forepredicted

You suck, Dee and the cast at Tri City Bank.

And Her Womb To Be Always Great With Me

It's glimpses of humanity like this that make it almost tolerable to work in his lab

I got flustered because he played some kind of Bulgarian-Finachetto-Italian-with Blue-Cheese-on-the-side Fried Liver with Onions and a splash of Tabasco Gambit.

made me call back and I tried to start her mom up for some sexy conversation. She was a good sport about it and just laughed me off before she hung up the phone. Damn!

if I were prettier, I'd want to be a girl

Today, I will try to explain what causes the intensity of the feeling in Newfoundland and Labrador over its offshore oil and gas resource dispute with the government of Canada.

He was very happy and showed off the bear he painted in class and informed me that he does not like the froops I sent in his lunch.

"a good" is simply that.... it's the opposite of "a bad." though, in its long form, it's really "a good pretty" as opposed to "a bad naughty."

In addition, the fervor isn't backed by much meat.

You can't promote the ideals of the Democratic Party from your grave.

The last handful of episodes of Six Feet Under were incredibly emotional. Amber and I were balling

the only worthy tomcat with equally immaculate lineage lived in the south of France and demanded 200 euros per roll in the hay, which is significantly higher than what you'd be asked to fork out by the ladies of the night in Amsterdam's red-light district

I heard the news when I had breakfast with an Indian lawyer.

I don't really remember walking the car!

those spammers are just SO unconditionally supportive. Which is nice

Not all of what we were told initially is incorrect.

Each 4" figure wears a gas mask and represents the "scare of modern living."

An inch makes all the difference

We are all made of stars (even if we smell bad)

NO BITING!!! NO BITING! No Biting. No biting. NO biting. I was very stern with not a hint of smiles anywhere on my face.

6th graders shouldn't have boyfriends - Samantha was bragging about hers today and I almost threw her into the lake. SHE'S IN FREAKING 6TH GRADE.

I could barely stammer out "I should probably get going", to which he immediately responded with "yea, and I need to restring my guitars

If your eyeballs are humping their way through these words, you know how much LOVE The Rooster is putting into them. Nothing less than the best for you. Puttin love into the words... now THAT is sexy and that's why we're here.

My heart stopped. Every seat was taken. No, not only was every seat taken, but every seat was taken by a Klingon. That’s right, Klingons were on that bus. How many? Like, all of them.I thought about backing slowly off the bus, but the driver suddenly closed the doors and hit the gas. Shit. I was being kidnapped by a bunch of Klingons on public transportation. You just can’t make this shit up, man.

Manchester teenagers are learning how to give arm and hand massages - as an alternative to crime.

Why is a line of people spelled "queue"? Isn't "que" plenty? What's with the extra "ue"? Why? Why?

You want a working pen, one you can use hard & throw away when he’s—it’s reached its limit. At the moment, my favorite is the Bic XXL. The thick shaft, the nice weight of the head, the tactile pleasure of the suede pad where I hold it in my fingers. Sometimes I pause and just roll that pad, unconsciously teasing it with my thumb as I stimulate my own imagination.

I remember the living room was a sacred place, only visited on holidays and when I wanted to be a rebel.

The other night, Rachel wanted me to take a video of her so that she could ask Mary to buy some chocolate pop-tarts

i'm pretty sure that only if my vagina was literally shooting menses all over the place, would i use the tampon that someone handed me on the street... might i add, on the street right by cabrini.

Now I don't know about you, but for me knitting is pure self indulgence

It sucks for my health, and my parents would slaughter me.

I stumbled on a shocking discovery: by dampening the ends of a couple of peanuts with your tongue and then sticking them together, they stick like glue. Even better, you can squish them into a wide variety of shapes. When rolled between two fingers, they start to look a little like bones.

I don't feel much like Kakamaking today. I'm sorry.

When you met the infamous unnamed woman at the well, were you hitting on her?

I couldn't see him, the bandages were covering my face. He had an authoritative voice. "Hello," he said. "My name's John Adams and I need to ask you a few questions." So I said "Nice to meet you, Mr. President." and the nurses giggled. True story.

you know those people, those people who say "or..." at the end of every question. I want to smack those people and say "No 'or'! Just ask the damn question!"

recipe is named "Crunchy Mushrat" because I substituted the bell peppers that are normally in Ratatouille with mushrooms.

i did my fair share of bitching (especially when robin didn't excuse me for a neurologist appointment because my doc thought i had a fucking blood clot in my brain

Yeah, there's nothing really wrong with grabbing the usual 7" x 10" trade and sitting down with it until your legs go numb. But some books really lend themselves to the experience simply by virtue of the physical form they take, and I wanna look at a couple of 'em today. Come on, it's not the silliest thing I've done - it's not like looking in the toilet before I flush to "see how I did."

Oh my, what more can I say? It’s all about the creamy butter...and the so tasteless gulaman, dears. Of course, it’s keso after all. Delicatessen, love!

a word of advice: don't keep the Super Glue and the lube in the same drawer.

I always attribute Mom's behavior to the "child of the Depression" thing, but my sister doesn't remember Mom hoarding food back in the 50s and 60s. So now my theory is Mom's survivalist thing got triggered by the OPEC embargo

I could never pull off spaghetti straps, they make my shoulders look huge. And whose idea was it to name clothing elements after pasta? If I gotta wear straps, they better be lasagna straps.

I was stuck in the 1970s for several days.It was terrible. I was running out of things to do to occupy my time. I had a wedding to attend on Saturday and a poker tournament on Sunday (I played terribly). But besides that . . . nothing.

It was like the first time I saw a dough ball...wait, the second time I saw a dough ball because the first time I didn't know what they taste like.

ok let me clue you people in - vampires are real, not the undead kind but the kind of wacko but average human who attacks other people and drinks their blood. the thing is, drinking lots of blood is addictive and changes a person. all of the ingested hormones and natural steroids effect their healing and immune systems, and they become hard to hurt and harder to kill. the whole thing with wooden stakes and silver bullets is wrong, it's been misunderstood. An iron stake is plated with gold - because gold is non-corrosive/reactive. The vampire is staked through the breastbone, not the heart, and the stake goes entirely through the vampire's body, and is used with a cross-pin (not a cross) to hold them in place in a stone sarcophagus, where it can take six months or more for them to die. If a wooden stake were used, it would rot long before the six months, and they would get free. remember this it could help you one day.

it may be harder to see the French background of a term Massachusetts locals once used for coastal merchants made rich through the fishing trade: "codfish aristocracy." "Codfish" comes from Middle English, but "aristocracy" passed into English via Middle French

Chain saws are also great when you are interested in getting up close and personal with gasoline power

Until then, I do not want to see you do sit-ups. Just go away. Forever.

noticed that the left half of my tongue is black.I can think of two possible reasons for this. Either a) I have some horrible, toxic disease, or b) I suck my fingers when I sleep.

I highly recommend it unless you are frustrated by absurdity, cringe at the idea of gratuitous sex scenes, and/or have no sense of humour.

after two hours of endless bank activity-waiting, I decided to forgo the magazine and stared at the carpet. Dropping my minds oscillation rate down 10 cycles or so I observed that the carpet started to undulate in a pronounced rippling effect. This effect would dissipate as people walked by, their minds reality filter projecting a sphere field of no nonsense dampening effect upon my little game of wrinkle in time. Then the loan officer came out, handed me a magazine, concerned by my lack of normal fidgeting.

This was my dog on the Kibbutz. His name is Goor, and he likes to snore, fart, and eat peoples shoes while they are still on their feet.

Yep. Is the maid. You can’t find you slippers? You can’t find the battery lamp in case o’ blackout? You can’t find the new, not yet open bottle o’ shampoo?

Is the maid, is the maid, is the maaaaiiiid.

It is all about a Christian option for postmoderns who are both experiential and thinking people.

Egad, It's Hot!

No more of this “prefinished” this and “veneer” that. This is solid, sexy wall.

occasionally, a big football lineman will set the buns a-jiggling on one of his teammates, as a reward for a nice play. But outside of sports, there's some sort of unspoken taboo on the rump rub....and I'm not sure why.

"Just pretend you're an ostritch running on water," I said reasonably, and she smiled in agreement.

well, i mean, if i start to have a seisure or something, i've saved the wrapper and part of the treat, for analyzing

After the wonderful epidural we just waited for Ethan's arrival

You can't say I didn't try. And if I don't hear from you, well, yeah. Sunday was nice. Thanks for Sunday.

Sometimes you just get tired of roaming.

Personally, I know that I would have mortified my mother if I wore flip-flops to the White House.

I am a 40 year old man from suburban New York who started this blog after repeated e-mails to Ford over the years went unanswered. I'm not a crank, I love Ford.

Stuff written on one's honeymoon need not be very original or amazing, as long as it's about robots.

i was stumbling through the mall one day when a midget in a bikini stopped me for a carmel frappe. figuring that he had ties to the mob, i quickly hopped on my emu and got the hell out of there.

Last night I dreamt that Beyonce paid Jay-Z to "give" her twins because she wanted to be in the chic baby-having crowd.

Second, the mere phrase, "Jag-u-ars for everyone" makes me about lose my shit!

Apparently New Jersey is hippo and lager country. Just another reason not to go there. Because, you know, hippos are really pretty vicious. And I imagine an inebriated hippo would be even more dangerous. So...yeah.

Don't even think about it...he's old...and besides he's got a hole in his stomach. You can stick your hand through and it will come out the other side. He does drugs and people say he killed his father.

this beauty's self-contained locking mechanism is also the down tube

how could Shamu accurately render a scale drawing of himself? That kind of penmanship would be unlikely from a creature using only its vestigal fins.

Just because you're President of the Navy, it doesn't give you the right to ignore my phone calls. You're such an asshole, Alan.

she's been living in my brain for months, and she doesn't want to leave. Sweetie, I love you and all, but it's time to take a nice long coma, ok?

I will not have a deficit from potty time.

The next thing that I learned about myself, was that I am a bit choleric. In fact, I think I am more choleric than phelgmatic. Sure I'm carefree, but that's not entirely me.

A creepy creation that is supposed to inspire a sort of "Land's sakes, how cute is that?" reaction, but only inspires bemusement mixed with a pinch of fear for me.

The other was an adaptation of the 'Gift of the Magi', where she changed it to a story involving the hose we use to clean after eliminating

Politics is now my side-hobby, but there's always enough going on to keep me sufficiently outraged.

cant belive i bought this shit. smirnoff makes you grow a vagina

falling in love seem to also replicate themselves in the most common of breakfast staples; the boiled egg. One could feel all these things at dawn, waiting for the water to reach boiling point, waiting for him to turn around, waiting for the egg to reach the right consistency, waiting for her not to turn a cold shoulder, being seduced by the silky whiteness on orange yolk, being seduced by his touch

let me just tell you why I think the internet is a waste of time. I have nine reasons

If you know any verses that have God's love in them, or even chapters about that, then tell me because I don't know

I sound like a Funeral Parlor. Note the secret scent of Cold Cuts in the Basement -- a place to which, like a Dressing Room, we retire to for deeper solace than what is warmly but too definitely Upstairs. Our Work must be done.

Don't get me wrong, I've had a lot of close friends who were Korean. But the Korean language sounds like something LucasFilm made up. I'm sure english sounds silly to them too.

awaiting a smile replacement

Biggest tire resource on the Internet

Some things are so intense and dangerous that either you become utterly traumatized or completely obsessed. That's why I avoided the Mule/Woman Sex show in TJ.

Today, it felt really nice when he put his hands on my neck to feel for the swollen glands

I didnt like Wendy gave me "permission" to breathe

I would swear I am pregnant had I not experienced Aunt Flo this week. Last night Beagle Daddy came home and made me dinner.

she is a collaborator with Veggie Tales in this endeavor

And therein lies the crucible of the story's veracity.

If fishing boats was Sausage and Pepper Penne, then this fantasy of mine would be a reality

just today i got a heart felt email from Rezwan in Islamabad, Pakistan saying that after my yachting advice and some iced out bling he has already started to see some balling results

the neighbors at the other end of the road sometimes have almost 20! No kidding. Anyway, Lucky Luke will have plenty of options for lovin' come fall

can go a long way to solving some of the problems that naturally arise in Christian communities made up of sinners

The re-raise preflop means there is no way in hell I have the best hand

I want his puppies.. no, really, i do. i know he's bi, and that other men have crept up his ass.. but i still want him.. i find him so hot.

When I've had a few lemonades, every song that plays on the radio sounds like Franz Ferdinand.

(Our bed blew up and had to be replaced -- but more on that later.)

If You Are Reading This, You Had Better Fucking Hate Horses!!!

E. Beaver & Co. - Servicing the packaging needs of the wine industry.

Stupid is sending bootleg videos but not child support.

I have been enjoying not drinking

Three hours for lips only seems like a lot of time, but I guess I'm just not a quick worker

God is good and will take care of me. The tough part is figuring out how to stop

Got that itch to go out and find out some stuff about southwestern furnishings and so I itched that scratch, and boy did it feel good.

And every so often he's moved to stand up during the service and just talk -- usually about God-and-country-gemischt stuff that makes me brux my teeth.

And besides, none of them understand how exciting it is to find a Pawpaw tree

wicker basket on the front (for one day transporting my cute, little dog) and a pink horn. The only tricky part of the purchase is finding a helmet that is functional, yet fashionable

and he was on the last step of replacing the ceiling tiles when I heard a crash. Seems that someone had hidden something very special in the ceiling: 1960s and 1970s first-run porno mags. Everyone else who lived here got all kinds of historically significant stuff and we got porn

I'm sure it takes a good chunk of change to look that fashionably anarchistic.

he was also taking like 40 vitamins and other supplements per day. geez! and I thought I was vain

She wasn't meant to be the nurturing type, KWIM?

I passed out, room spinning, the final thought of the night: Oh, shit I have to get up and make peach cobbler for the party

kill the frog, it's the only way forward

The title of the report, A strong female lead in Indranee, screams at your face! The whole piece sounds, feels and gives the impression that the PAP is the place to be

They should make flavored cups. Not so people would want to eat cups, but just to add some extra flavor to whatever you're drinking. Patent pending.

If I tell you that the king died, and then the queen died, that's not narrative; that's plot. But, if I tell you that the king died, and then the queen died of a broken heart, that's narrative."

I still have to stop at the bank, get money for the dog

Two beauties back together again: Diane (1st Runner-Up Miss USA 1978) and Anne (HWRHS Homecoming Queen 1975). Defying the notion that anything "fades."

I would stay quiet and vent my indignation internally, hoping simultaneously that I would somehow create guilt in the other persons involved

There is no advance purchase! So, plan your trip today

if you are not the result of an incestuous relationship, then surely you agree with me

There is a regular there that brings his own whole rotiserie chicken in, doesn't drink coffee, just eats his chicken right there in Starbucks.

Those skimpy ass outfits and lack of partner being the only things keeping me from my dream

I don't care if you're always active, your hammy's should heal.

This blog is for all those that know the truth about the 70s and are sick of the hype!

I have a personal respect for the white man, I'm going to do you f*ckers a favor and teach you a lesson because I love you so much.

He's the guy that will tell me when I'm acting like a pretentious asshole and when I need to shut the f*ck up and just do it.

not to mention the after-school "special" puppet show I put on for friends when I was about 7 that involved several embalmed animals that my dad used to keep in our basement for laboratory equipment sales

You're entire personality's a riddle Mr. Knightly. I thought you were overqualified.

I don't fully get the project: is it a weird white fifties equivalent of a Barry White album?

He is dressed very stylishly and has a sheepish smile. Yet his back is crawling with snakes and frogs.

I’m drinking coffee in my big girl shoes, trying very hard to wake up

Blimey, summer's here and no mistake! It's sooo warm I've had to roll up my shirt sleeves in a cheesy 80's style

I’m beginning to discover a side of me that I’ve not known. And yet at the same time, it’s both thrilling and emancipating. What a giddy mix indeed. This afternoon I listened to quite a bit of Coldplay

crash bang burn.... oh man. loving the wind in the face, loving finger dancing in the wind

same-sex parents should be aware of how to avoid this situation

It turns out that Wal-Mart doesn't do discount knee surguries

the data recovery thingy is blank

The young guy began to stammer something that sounded like he was refusing me service when I, in genuine helpfulness, offered to open it for him.

Another lesson learned. Don't volunteer for things at UCLA!

if god had a blog he'd be one of those jerkoffs who hacked the html code so the strip at the top with the 'next blog' button was broken or missing. Thou shalt not have any other blogs but mine, sayeth the lord

But without that law we may not know how to love truly.

Rodent Positron Emission Spectroscopy

I'm glad that I have a job where at least the people that hate me just slam the phone down on me.

They have an alpine tower and i was learning the "alpine Tower" way of doing things.

why dont rapists just attack during normal working hours and leave me to the night where i belong skipping home with beck and rufus?

gentleman in his sixties was raving about the gift he had gotten for his birthday. It was a Netflix subscription. He said he was catching up on episodes of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer

"No, it's Karl the Pineapple. I named it for you." She beamed.

sometimes i really thank God for friends... ok, that sounds really unappreciative

Our fighting men and women are taking fire here at home and I know they'd be happy to see us cover their flank

No pictures today; unfortunately I forgot to bring my camera to Jacob's Pillow. But we'll be going to see Chunky Move there, so I will bring it then.

i can tell already that i'll be making some socks from there. and you know what, my WIPs will now be dressed with beautiful stitch markers!

i want a bass. a bad ass'd bass. a blue bad ass'd bass. a navy blue bad ass'd bass. a sexy navy blue bad ass'd bass...

deadline is sometime in September for showings in October during Salem, Mass’ huge celebration of all things scary. Coincidentally I got married in October in Salem

Oh. My. God. Are you a cheese person

clearly thanks to the arrival of a new member on the team and to the very fertile Comments section

American supermarkets are a tourist attraction in themselves....once you discover the bakery department there's no looking back

Has anybody besides me noticed that this blog thing has alot of bugs and kinks that need to be worked out?

where they bring aticles from today's gedolim, or listen to Droshos from today's Darshonim, then you would see that the preparations that involve the male segment of the population all involve strengthening their commitment to studying Torah. The women I won't bother with

I had noticed Jake had a rash around his mouth in the morning but did not think too much of it.

No one will blame you for being bored with the same old chrome

I know Hung, Allen, and of course Smack all know about Strongbad's emails but I'm not sure if the rest of you do. This one is truly a classic and provides much enjoyment.

An experimental pill that controls blood fats as well as blood sugar could be a better treatment for diabetics with high cholesterol even though side effects may be worse than current drugs

that's not to say that i'm not still bitter about learning that i had to still take a lower division class the spring quarter of my third year. stupid psychology.

Lovely speech. Next time, Pepsi should hire his speechwriter

That was a neat little story, but as I have just become the center of conversation, my inner Garth is getting a bit nervous.

We are sensitive to our shoes. I imagine everyone could take their shoes out of the closet and line the different pairs up in order of increasing comfort. I know I could.

We’ve got a room full of what she calls “not necessaries” in liquor store boxes. I was hoping to be rid of Captain Morgan and his buddy

the island was heavily populated in pre-contact Hawaii, a result of ample water from Kualono

I encourage you to scroll down to the original blog and read the basic description which will tie it all together for you.The following is an outline of what I am trying to stimulate

Detailed information concerning saves the day funeral acoustic

New SCRIBBLE STITCH POCKET SATCHEL - Borrow Online Secure

I usually propel myself through home imporvement projects by the sheer power of muttered profanity and by harnessing the dark, twisted core of hatred for tools

So I'm at work and the strangest song starts to play on the radio. Mind you I have heard this song about 2 million times thanks to my former roommate, but it was just so strange because it isn't the type of song that usually gets played at Kohl's and no one else even knows that the song exists.

I've left all my Def Leppard faves off this list because they're a list of their own

some would say that a guy with stringy, non washed, blonde hair and a huge beer gut couldn't possibly look good in a mesh t-shirt, and I would say to that person

Well I was watching the Matrix revolutions last night and thought it would be a kool movie (or the whole trilogy) for us as a team to watch...crazying biblical connections

I have an extreme phobia of vampires

was i really celebrating recently over being done with speed-reading a book a week? what, was i smoking crack?! not only am i so NOT done with speed-reading,

Thieves think lean, snatch cellulite pills from Coconut Creek

First and foremost: my squirrel came back!!!!

I have a confession to make and may have to go into therapy once I've said this but it must be said.

more of the same thing, but in more different places

he will continue to receive a jabs to the shoulder over the next few days, as I play out my own boxing fantasy.

Little does he know that his life relies on my getting into a frat and ridding myself of him A.S.A.P.

the feasible solutions to that problem are integral, not just rational. The constraint matrix looks dangerously similar to the constraint matrix of the following problem encountered in a linear programming course

Venice was my date and I was enamored to be in such exquisite company

Spent afternoon eating breakfast

She is five people and she is one of the most opinionated people I know. I may start to cry.

Put a square of plastic wrap over your hand and see what happens

Found our maid asking for the house keys! I got uber irritated as ive been struggling to REALLY sleep for the past few weeks now

If you win the auction, you must take the Emmy Lou Harris.

Three female swans had passed out of their own section of the canal into another territory, whereupon the dominant male set upon them with a passion, chasing one into the canal lock - which a longboat was passing through at the time. After several minutes of savage fighting, hindering the passage of the boat which could not open the sluices for fear of harming the swans, the dominant male left victorious, leaving the female a bedraggled wreck.

since babies don't protrude from my back, my wings should be ok as long as I keep them moisturized

Detailed information concerning mirror in the bathroom

that she can wear those on her back, hip, butt...not just her arm. You would think that due to the fact that summer was approaching, it would dawn on her to find a more private place to put it

more of it was spent napping and reading than with the baboons

That is why you AREN'T supposed to feed the seagulls when you're in Duluth anymore.

I'll be the one dressed in flowing scarves and running down the street yelling, "Sid! Sidney! I look like fucking Stevie Nicks!!"

When I find out who's responsible for this, you can count on a severe thumping. Just so you know.

Everything in her size (2 and up) was inappropriate for a child that age. SHORT shorts, little miniskirts, belly-baring tank tops. All in all, the perfect situation if I wanted my kid to look like a Britney Spears backup dancer. What the hell?

something to play with while waiting for CSI this google stuff seems pretty straightforward but how to get a decent RSS feed link on the site, in anticipation of thousands of folks downloading this stuff.

This time I resolve not to take a taxi home, and a friendly auto driver accosts me. I agree to pay 170 rupees even though I know deep down that the going rate is more like 85

Hillary gave quite the stemwinder Monday to a gathering of her most hardcore partisans,

'hey Nougat Nuts, put some pants on' would cross my mind. I couldn't help it. Maybe it's because I used to go to the Museum of Science and Industry when I was a kid

I don't know if its my advancing years and an anxiety to enjoy my spanking hand to the full before arthritis sets in :) but I have of late been actively looking for spanking partners as an end in itself (excuse pun) rather than, as I have done all my life, just taken spanking as and when it was available as part of an intimate relationship

Missouri has recently legalized noodle fishing

Good Hamster: That's my superior. Frankly speaking, he looks like a rat. But from what I have seen of him, he's honest and hardworking.

It made a wierd flopping noise like a bellyflop dive into a pool,

my life has too many emmas

Bob couldn't keep his hands off it. He says he can't bring it for a ride until he's shined every inch of it.

matzoh-ball soup mix was widely available in a low sodium variety, this year it has been completely unavailable even though I've looked in several grocery stores several times over the last month

She likes it good but did mention that if she gets diarrhea when she gets home, the powder's probably expired. So...artificial chemicals are biodegradable too? Fascinating.

The defense contended that Basoria punched herself while Flores was stepping on her, making it impossible to tell who killed the twins.

A golden Raspberry, which is pale yellow, has been selected by horticulturalists.

If you can't tell, I'm pretty gung-ho about this actuarial exam.

hands on education for many of his students whom went on to be doctors, veterinarians, and other jobs relating to the medical field. Well, I'd like to give you the official statement of the Human biology class that went to vivisection of the dog, my cousin

was so hot today, wasn't it? I drinked the tea many times

Ethan asked if Jackie knew anything about any potential virii. Ethan wasn't accusing Jackie of anything; his question was due to Jackie saying she was helping Kevin

This handcrafted lung cancer awarenes bracelet is designed using the finest gold-filled beads

Think of one of your best, most memorable sushi experiences--one that made the top of your head lift off and your eyes roll back

i met a Humphrey Bogart look-alike. Ryan and Sean kept saying it was really him, but I kept saying he was dead. Then i bought into it

Gambling Debt Collectors Break From Vegas Training Camp as NFL Season Gets Underway

but for now everyone will just have to settle for another crappy haiku.

The crispness, I now can guess, would come from intelligent use of corn,

Testing on tissue samples taken from the body of the uncle of a millionaire businessman charged with killing his wife has been completed, but investigators are remaining tightlipped on the results.

it was pretty much a breeze for it had minimal shapings until the armholes. i made the smallest size and used just under two balls

Meanwhile, Angus has been off his feed for a couple of days.

I got really tickled over a small thing: My grocery list tablet says, "Things to Pick Up," at the top. As I was shopping this morning, I went down the list of "Things to Pick Up," and something caught my eye. I had written "zesty Italian" because I'd run out of salad dressing. I don't think my hubby would like it if I picked up a zesty Italian.

miss pasher has those hot dandenong bachelors on the train chanting her name. her taste for life...and all things edible is one to be envied by many...one just has to observe her eating her namesake...those tasty pringles.

Pipe crew I worked with the armpits of society. These guys lived out of their cars. Daily they would drive their cars one mile forward and lay water mains to their cars when they got to them they would drive into town buy a case of beer and a bucket of chicken then drive back to the job site eat the chicken drink all of the beer fall asleep and urinate all over themselves then without showering go back to work the next day. One guy did this for over a month until the job boss made him bathe.

if you partner up with 3 other people (4 people total), your chances of getting mkv is higher. they choose people by lottery right. if one of the 4 people in your group are chosen by lottery, the other 3 get in. WE MUST DO THIS. me and yam were like...alrite lets do it. us and 2 more ppl. mkv it is. haha

Had dinner, fish, which was ok but the salmon was disguisting

Everyone knows that Mary Ann can bake a mean coconut cream pie.

I eventually caved, claiming to actually live at the place, only always in such a marijuana/alcohol haze that I'd managed to forget the gold lame and glittery midnight decor

Along the way my belly stuck itself out the car window, enjoying the breeze and growling at other stomachs that passed us by

I'm scared to look at the radar because everytime I do, the fucker never hits. Mississippi always gets the good shit anyways. They always have some kind of bad-ass tornado tearin' up their shit. Why not us? Where's our handful of destruction? Rain Goddammit Rain!!